Before you visit your armory, nurse your pains. It takes a little time to heal from cut wounds caused by the sharp edges of truth. So before you jump into conclusion or say the words; can you imagine? Let's see if she has a point or not, so without further ado, let's dive right into it.
Read the article below. 👇
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All women are gold-diggers and other bullsh!ts some men say.
Not every ambitious woman you come across is a Gold-Digger.
And this is why.
A woman who is thinking of settling down is not going to waste her time tending to a man who has no plans or priorities for his future as a potential husband, father, and career/businessman.
Sure it’s natural for many women to nurture their loved ones and according to God, wives must submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:24) but no one will submit to a man who is only a dreamer and doesn’t work to achieve those dreams. That can be dangerous.
As a man, not setting a goal and having plans to achieve these goals is telling a serious woman that you have a plan… a plan to fail. No wise woman will stick with a man like this.
There are two main goals a man should have. The Short Term Goal (STG) and the Long Term Goal (LTG). Both should never be the same, however, you have a higher chance of achieving your LTG if you have taken your STG seriously and achieved or are on the road to achieving them.
Steve Harvey, tv show host, author, and one of the Kings of Comedy gives us a perfect example in his book ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’ [I recommend you read] of his short and long term goals and the plans he used to achieve them.
One of his short-term goals was telling jokes to his audience and generating at least $2,500 per week. He achieved that and in no time, set a new goal to become a headliner earning about $5,000 to $7000 per week by upping his skills. It took him about eight years and he met his goal. Eventually, he met another great comedian ‘Sinbad’, who earned from $50,000 – $70,000 per week from working at a particular club, and Steve in his own words, ‘wanted a piece of that action.’ This prompted him to set an LTG that would afford him the kind of life he envisioned. One of his plans included getting into television which would provide the type of lifestyle for his family that would make him proud. Other plans that will help him reach his goal included networking and getting the right connections, getting a great team, and knowing those comedy clubs to target.
All these take time to achieve and one would need commitment, patience, the right partner [professionally and in terms of marriage], and God to be able to achieve it all.
You see, you may not have ‘blown’ in the Nigerian sense of hitting your financial goals but once you can prove that you have plans and are following them to achieve your goals, a good woman will stick by you and even help you in making your dreams a reality [while you do the same for her] — One verse of the Bible which gets overlooked is Ephesians 5:21, ‘SUBMIT yourselves to ONE ANOTHER because of your reverence to Christ.’ — This would be a topic for another day.
Men should be able to identify Gold-Diggers instead of grouping every ambitious woman in the same low category.
Every woman who is serious about settling down should ask her potential man what his Short and Long term goals are. Of course, you should ask these questions in an enthusiastic and interesting way that would make it easier for the man to spill because men enjoy talking about themselves. You do not want to turn a cheerful but important getting-to-know-you kind of conversation into a murder-investigationkind of conversation. It needs to be balanced.
It’s also important [as a woman] to be able to see yourself as part of his goals. You should also have yours of course and they should align with his. Don’t get it twisted, you must not be in the same field to have aligned goals i.e. You both must not be medical doctors before you can build a good and enjoyable life together.
Some men have plans and are working well to achieve them but they might not be space for you to be part of it and that is okay. Instead of trying to squeeze yourself, move on and meet someone who is a better fit. The last thing you’d want to be is a frustrated spouse living with a very successful man.
It’s okay as a woman/man to want more than you have presently. Just don’t look down on people but start now to take action by asking the right questions and taking the right actions.
As for men, it’s high time you also increase your standards when choosing a woman to grow with. Look at the values she possesses that could help you in becoming a better man/husband/father/worker instead of focusing [only] on the physical assets she has.
This way you increase your chances of not falling into the traps of the real Gold-Diggers and grouping every ambitious woman you see into the same low category because that is Bullsh!t.
- Linda Ezenwammadu
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Connect with Linda: https://linktr.ee/lindaezenwammadu
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© I Must Talk | Linda Ezenwammadu
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